Daily Trumpets app for iPhone and iPad

FREE & ZERO ADVERTISEMENTS!
100% UNOFFICIAL, NOT ENDORSED BY DONALD TRUMP

Are you tired of being a BIGLY loser? Is big boy life getting you down?

The Wi-Fi in your mom’s basement dropping them pings at the very worse moments?

Then download my app and kiss those depressing Democrat day’s goodbye right along with Hillary’s dignity. I’ll 1-8-7 your meager insignificant life like I did her political career. (Pssst.... Im not really Trump!)

All you have to do is swipe that INSTALL button and wait on my daily dose of loser renovation to hit your device. You’ll be back for more like Stephen Bannon at a sale on white linens. I pinky promise I won’t treat you like Obama and make you wait 8 years for change to come (no fingers crossed like with releasing my taxes). That is, unless you’re one of the three people left with Bernie Sanders-like AOL dial up, then I suggest you go hang out with the crazy cat lady at your local library until my life-changing app installs. Hey its better than with those whiny Liberals at coffee shops. BELIEVE ME!

My golden words of wisdom will have you living a life where even a guy like me that looks like a Dr. Seuss villain can be the President of the greatest country in at least all of the Americas (who could possibly contend with Russia, right?) You too can have your name in gold letters on the BESTest buildings across the world, and be married to the hottest MILF in the known galaxy (I’ve got the receipt to prove shes mine.)

The daily laughs ... I mean life lessons that my BIGLY app sends will turn your lefts andor wrongs into rights in no time. So hit that install button LOSER!

Did I mention this is 100% UNOFFICIAL, NOT ENDORSED BY DONALD TRUMP?

*Disclaimer #2 – The app is free so what do you have to lose? Find the description funny? Then get the app. If you didn’t laugh but are still reading way the hell down here, you’re at least curious enough to hit me on http://twitter.com/dailytrumpets. Come for the trollin’ but stay for the laughs. I’m the orange guy taking a Trump dump on the White House. If I don’t respond right away... just wait longer. No seriously, the tanning bed is in a dead zone. I fell asleep in one last week and turned purple. The guards laughed when I ran to use the "facilities" and called me Purple Rain and Forest Plum. That’s OK, I always get the last laugh. Now they’re guarding an Ebola camp in Africa!